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Father's Day weirdness
Kari
Posts: 1,765
Anyone else's kids acting a little weird around Father's Day? Justin has referred to his grampy as his "dad" four times in public in the past few weeks, and I've corrected him each time. At bedtime I talked to him about it and tried to figure out what was going on. Basically, he's confused because I always say that he can give his Father's Day gift he makes at school/daycare to his grampy. He thinks he should be able to refer to grampy as dad/father because of this. Then he suggested that I marry my father so he can call him dad. Ummm . . . no. I finally got him to understand how weird that suggestion was by asking him if he would someday marry his sister. Then we covered the whole, "You don't marry your relatives" talk.
I'm hoping this dies down after Father's Day, at least for another year. I did explain to Justin that you marry someone outside your family that you love, and I haven't met that person yet . . . but that it would NOT be my father! I think he understood that, but overall I think he's quite confused. It doesn't help that my mom died before Justin was born, so he doesn't have hardly any examples in our family of a mom-dad-kids relationship. I think he knows some pieces are missing, but can't figure out where they belong in the family tree.
Anyone else dealing with this? Any suggestions for getting him to understand?
I'm hoping this dies down after Father's Day, at least for another year. I did explain to Justin that you marry someone outside your family that you love, and I haven't met that person yet . . . but that it would NOT be my father! I think he understood that, but overall I think he's quite confused. It doesn't help that my mom died before Justin was born, so he doesn't have hardly any examples in our family of a mom-dad-kids relationship. I think he knows some pieces are missing, but can't figure out where they belong in the family tree.
Anyone else dealing with this? Any suggestions for getting him to understand?
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My dealing with it is probably not the most practical but it works. Friends of mine go to a farm resort every year for a vacation week starting Father's Day weekend. We went last year and will again this year. Vacationing 1200 miles away takes the focus off the non-existent dads and puts it on horseback riding and baby farm animals!
4.5 years!
Last week while we were driving my son said, "Mom, I need a dad!" I explained that our family is just a mom and kid. My son said, "I had a donor but he died." I agreed yes you did have a donor (I used a known donor and he died when I was 12 weeks pregnant) and he did pass away." My son said, "Well I'm going to call my donor DAD!" I explained to him the difference and that while it is his story I will still call him a donor."
I was a bit confused as we have never had this come up as my son has always been super excepting of his story. He does get yearly visits with his donor's sister as I used a known donor so he would know his other genetic side and even they use donor for terms. I then found out that my son shared his story with his class which was no problem but that two kids started teasing him (the kids surprised me as one is adopted by a single mom and the other lives just with her mother) about his donor dying. they kept talking about how they thought his donor died (shot to death, stabbed, etc). Once all this came out and we could process is again my son has now moved on.
We are able to go through all the male role models in the family and he was able to pick one to do something special with. He of course picked his papa and they went fishing and had lunch together.
TTC#2
August 2015: BFP!!!