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Injuries and comforting when parents aren't around
K&H
Posts: 3,368 ✭✭
So, E can be quite a strong-willed kid. She's nearly 5 at this point and goes to playschool three hours, four days a week (although off now for summer). Other than that she is with either me or H at all times. We have had some live in help off and on, but it's generally pretty light, young babysitter types. She is very loving and very social.
Here's the thing.. When she gets hurt she shuts down completely. It doesn't happen often because she tends to be a physically tough and able kid. But there have been times. She fell off the play structure at school, hitting her head solidly against a metal pole, and when the kids gasped and the teachers came running she ran off and hid under a table crying. She yelled at the teachers to leave her alone if they tried to get near her. I had to be called to go and pick her up because they couldn't even tell if she was ok or not because she wouldn't let anyone near. I took her straight from there to her godmother's house (she used to be an EMT) and E was furious. She wouldn't let her anywhere near her and screamed and called her mean names (which made her godmother mad, not helping the situation). She did finally calm down and after a few hours decided that she would let the chiropractor look at it (turned out she did have an egg sized lump and her neck was out of alignment).
This has happened a couple of times in various situations, and I think it's been ever since she got hurt at my parents' house when H and I were out. Our dog accidentally pulled her off their front step and she got a face full of cement and his leash ripped her fingernail off. We got back to their house about 20 min later and it took nearly two hours to calm her down. That was more than a year ago.
Today she was at the playground with my dad and hurt her shin. She took off running for home without him and said she wanted he and gramma to go away, they couldn't talk to her or about her. Sometimes when people talk about her she will hide under the table and get so angry. And when she is angry (example, gramma cut her egg this morning instead of leaving it solid like I do), she just refuses to talk to them and screams at them if they try.
Is this a phase? How can we get her out of this and able to accept even verbal conversation or comfort from others when we're not there? She has one more year of preschool before Kindergarten and this is one of the reasons (among many).
She is a great kid and loves those she is close to with a fierce passion. But if you cross her, look out! How can we help her not take things so strongly and so personally?
Here's the thing.. When she gets hurt she shuts down completely. It doesn't happen often because she tends to be a physically tough and able kid. But there have been times. She fell off the play structure at school, hitting her head solidly against a metal pole, and when the kids gasped and the teachers came running she ran off and hid under a table crying. She yelled at the teachers to leave her alone if they tried to get near her. I had to be called to go and pick her up because they couldn't even tell if she was ok or not because she wouldn't let anyone near. I took her straight from there to her godmother's house (she used to be an EMT) and E was furious. She wouldn't let her anywhere near her and screamed and called her mean names (which made her godmother mad, not helping the situation). She did finally calm down and after a few hours decided that she would let the chiropractor look at it (turned out she did have an egg sized lump and her neck was out of alignment).
This has happened a couple of times in various situations, and I think it's been ever since she got hurt at my parents' house when H and I were out. Our dog accidentally pulled her off their front step and she got a face full of cement and his leash ripped her fingernail off. We got back to their house about 20 min later and it took nearly two hours to calm her down. That was more than a year ago.
Today she was at the playground with my dad and hurt her shin. She took off running for home without him and said she wanted he and gramma to go away, they couldn't talk to her or about her. Sometimes when people talk about her she will hide under the table and get so angry. And when she is angry (example, gramma cut her egg this morning instead of leaving it solid like I do), she just refuses to talk to them and screams at them if they try.
Is this a phase? How can we get her out of this and able to accept even verbal conversation or comfort from others when we're not there? She has one more year of preschool before Kindergarten and this is one of the reasons (among many).
She is a great kid and loves those she is close to with a fierce passion. But if you cross her, look out! How can we help her not take things so strongly and so personally?
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Comments
The examples you gave are legitimate and potentially serious injuries but maybe you could playact what to do when you have a boo-boo. Could take a while but hopefully when hurt she will learn to run towards help and not away.
Baby #1: April 2011 TTC #2 since 2014 Attempt #10 = BFP! Baby arrived January 2016
I'm fine with her response when we are around, but I don't like the idea of her not responding to others when we're not there.
So you don't think it's a major failing on our parts? Or some sign of some deeper pain, or any other such thing I've convinced myself.
(In my defense, H has been away all week and I've had three kiddos on my own. I may be just a wee bit exhausted)