Welcome to our new forum! All existing NW Cryobank forum users will need to reset their passwords. Click forgot password and enter your email address to receive the link. Email us at info@nwcryobank.com with any questions.
NW Cryobank community boards and sibling connect groups will no longer be available after December 20th, 2023.
Options
Boys & Women's Restrooms
fisch
Posts: 570 ✭✭
At what age, if any, did you let your child use the men's restroom on their own? I have a hard time imagining being comfortable with this, ever. I can see how we will get a point when he will no longer be comfortable going into the women's with me, and how other women/girls may get uncomfortable at some point.
He's 4.5, and I've always said that when he's 5 we would start working toward that, but now that we are on our way, he still seems like a baby to me.
Thoughts?
He's 4.5, and I've always said that when he's 5 we would start working toward that, but now that we are on our way, he still seems like a baby to me.
Thoughts?
0
Comments
I just turned 50 and fabulous!!! Enjoying life with my amazing family!!
Mom to Rachel 33, Bethany 30, Rebekah 30, Zachrey 20 and several angel babies
Grandma to Larissa 11, Brittney 11, Trevor 11, Destiny 7, Jayvin 6, Jackxon 3, Kaleb Joshua Rian 1. Grandbaby #8, Sariah Grace born 11-17-16
One thing I've noticed is that in most of the places we visit frequently, the restrooms either aren't very busy (most restaurants or stores) or there is a family restroom (movie theater, malls) so it's really easy to avoid seeing a lot of other people. I can't imagine it being an issue the vast majority of the time.
I feel bad since at some point maybe 6 or 7 I feel he will start becoming embarrassed to use the females but he'll still be to young to go on his own yet. If we're outside we may do it at some point if the boys go together but again that will be a while.
fwiw, my brother brings his 4 year old daughter into the mens room after making sure no one is using the urinal if my sil or another female family member isn't around.
g
in kindergarten he'll start using the "boys" room, and pretty much on his own. maybe that will start the whole WANTING to go on his own in the men's room. at his preschool it's a kids bathroom with stalls but no doors, and it's for all the kids.
right now I'll say 8 or 9... but I'll have to see his maturity level and his ability to handle everything himself
DS (7) - d#470
Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it.
Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013. 6th baby, so much love!
Thankfully a lot of places do have the family bathroom's, and there are actually app's available to locate the closest one. :cool:
TTC #1 5/16/11 = BFP 14 DPI / TTC #2 11/16/12 = No O; 4/12/13= BFN; 6/9/13 = BFP!! (11 DPI) - MC 5wk5dys / TTC#3 3 BFN's and 4th try 10/21/13 = BFP!!!! (Squinter at 10dpi!)
Around here many places say that once the child is 5 they can no longer go in the restroom/dressing room of the other gender. Many of these places have family rooms though so it isn't a huge issue.
Mommy to Twins plus One - donor 733
Over 5-6 is WAY too old...he wouldn't be allowed in a women's locker room at the pool so I think the same guideline should apply anyplace else. Once they start kinder, they need to use their respective restrooms. Stand outside the door if you are worried. I went into a mens room once to check on a boy I was nannying and it was no big deal. You need to give them both the time and privacy to do their business. Would you want someone tapping their foot and telling you to HURRY UP! Or make you use wrong gender bathroom? Didn't think so. Give your kid andother restroom patrons the respect you want others to give you.
The obvious difference here is that a public restroom is not full of naked women.
I can tell you feel strongly about this. Why exactly does it bother you so much? I understand that others feel the same way you do but frankly, my son's needs and safety are of more concern to me than a stranger's feelings. It doesn't bother me in the least to see a 5-6 year old in a women's restroom. Why should I assume that others feel the same way as you instead of me?
I agree that the chance of molestation is miniscule, and I don't know how I will feel when my son is 5, but I would definitely not feel comfortable with him going alone at 4. He just learned how to lock stall doors, and can't do every type yet. He wants to be with me. There isn't any foot tapping or admonition to hurry, either. I'm not sure why some people feel so strongly, so I'd really like to understand.
I would hope people don't let their kids look between the cracks in stalls. I wouldn't want my daughters doing that, either.
It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!
As for dressing rooms we have tried,to get him to use the locker rooms at the gym but he is terrified. He would rather get in the car wet than go in a strange place alone. So this is what we do.
"NO BOYS OVER 4 ALLOWED IN WOMENS LOCKEROOM!".
His thoughts were if they are tall enough to use a urinal and the sink they were ok to go alone. He also didn't think there was any fear of pedophiles because there is an unspoken 'don't look at anybody' rule. He said there is usually 1 urinal lower for kids. His estimation is by 6 they should be tall enough and responsiable enough.
He also said he HATES seeing little girls in the men's room since there are men using urinals.
So there is a male perspective, I'm wondering what OSS and Duck think.
As for women bringing in their 8/9 y/o boys into public restrooms, I don't have any problem with women who do so, I'd rather a child be safe, than potentially be exposed to a predator.
With that said, and with all due respect, it's a fallacy that a child is more likely to be abused by a family member/friend. I completed my postgraduate thesis on this very topic and many experts now agree (and there are numerous peer reviewed studies) that intrafamilial offenders (offenders who 'supposedly' target family/friends) not only abuse family/friends children, but also have numerous child victims they do not know, and the same goes for extrafamilial offenders abusing not only children they do not know, but also their own children, friends, relatives etc...
Research also shows an increased prevalence of child molesters targeting both genders of children, (as opposed to some 'experts' who say offenders are more likely to target male children), as well as abusing children outside of their 'recognized' victimology (family members or children who aren't related).
Offenders who were classically defined by 'experts' as 'child molesters' also had histories of sexually abusing adults, and offenders who were defined as 'rapists who target adults' had histories of abusing children as well.